Water
by raven shadow heart
Summary: And even as she rushed to ground in her fall from the heavens, destroying everything in her path, there was a hidden beauty in it all/ And, she was perfect. Rated M cause im paranoid, let me know if i should change it


Water – Tori Vega

P E R F E C T I O N

T A L E N T

B E A U T Y

All the things she didn't have

**_SHE WAS HIDEOUS_**

The mirror/rorrim never_ l_i**e**s

And yet still, with her bulging stomach

_Fat, fat, fat, so painfully, disgustingly fat. Already 115.0 pounds_

And her horrible voice

_So many notes off-key _

She had managed to get into Hollywood Arts. Finally, a chance to be seen!

_No so hideous got to practice more!_

_Must hide got to stop eating_

…Or so she'd thought, until she saw Jade, Cat, Andre and Beck. They were so much better at everything.

_Fucking **Perfect!**_

They accepted her into their circle (well most of them anyways), and she was glad for their company. It made her realized how much she had to fix of herself.

So every day, she sang two hours,

Acted three more

Ate half a salad (no croutons or dressing)

_NO! So fat already, so fat, _

_So fat _

_So fat _

_So_

_Fat_

_Have to stop!_

Race to the bathroom.

Rising bile.

Mint Gum.

_Too many carbs! STOP!_

_(So weak)_

She gets home, ignores her parents stares (which isn't hard because they aren't there half the time). The rest of the time, she rehearses until she can't sing, and her legs can't keep her up. Her friends **_act_** worried.

_And it just reminds her how much fucking better actors they are compared to her._

Time becomes a blur until all she thinks about is the next trip to the bathroom.

"Are you okay? You seem kinda sick" Andre's always "worried"

"Yeah, I'm fine, just stressed out"

_Please drop it, stop **pretending **to care_

He looks at her

"You and I both know that's a lie"

No answer

Everyone else is oblivious to the exchange. Andre stares at her, a disgusted look flashing in his eyes.

The bile comes rising back

_So hideous gotta hide so FAT!_

More mint gum

_More C A R B S_

She hides the rest of the hour, so they won't be able to see how disgusting she is.

Another girl finds her. Tori doesn't look up. The girl silently hands her a water bottle, says it helps with the hunger pains, and leaves. And Tori can't help but remember how blue the girl's nails looked behind the chipped black nail polish.

She paints her nails black.

Trina can't help but notice.

"I thought you were to peppy for black nail polish"

"Guess I'm not"

Her parents aren't home…. Again.

She goes into the bathroom, doesn't even look at the mirror and after those 4 long agonizing weeks, steps into the scale.

97.6 pounds

She smiles, actually happy for the first time…..

Until she looks in the mirror.

And sees the fat rolling in her arms. She spends the night puking 'till she sees blood.

* * *

><p>She's walking through school, when a random guy asks her out and for once she thinks that she's pretty…..<p>

(She also finds out that apparently guys didn't care about her "pretty" (hideous) face and body when they were too busy grunting like animals as they pounded into her, and for a moment in time, she is alive again)

After that night she never spends a weekend at home again

(And it's not like her parents would notice, or Trina would care)

Life goes on. She keeps sitting with her friends at the same table, still eating next to nothing.

And they still keep on pretending to care. Except Jade, who just calls her a slut, but Tori doesn't care because while Jade's being a bitch (as usual) she doesn't notice Beck eye-fucking Tori across the table.

Tori just smiles.

…..and wakes up the next morning with the smell of Beck clinging to her skin and his cum all over her sheets.

_But as good as it felt, it's still not enough._

So she finds herself staring at the knife in her hand while sitting on the bathroom floor. She doesn't **WANT** to die. She just wants to be **perfect**.

_And doesn't red against the white floor just look so beautiful_

* * *

><p>She's in Sickowitz class when Cat tells her. The school is performing Chicago. She auditions.<p>

She gets the role of Roxie Hart

…And Jade gets Velma Kelly

So Tori can't help but scream.

1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8

1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8

Sing, Dance, Act, Pray, Cry, Puke, Keep practicing…

"I'm sure most of us have already heard the story "Chicago", the Broadway musical, but I want to have a twist from the original, one where, in the end Roxie kills Velma" Sickowitz then proceeded to teach us the new parts.

* * *

><p>Sickowitz gets mad<p>

"You have to feel the role, Vega, so that you can make the audience believe your performance! And you can't do any of that if your heart and soul isn't in it!"

She keeps trying.

And of course Jade's performance is already perfect.

_So Beautifully P E R F E C T_

_Still 86.3… fat_

Opening night

Sickowitz just tells Tori she'll be fine but she knows he's lying

_Lies! She'll screw up!_

She gets into costume. The costume designer chides her.

"The dress doesn't FIT!"

_Too fat!_

Jade's is perfect

_But she always is…_

She may be the star but the spotlight would always be Jade's

…No. Not tonight.

As she dances, Tori can't help but laugh to herself. After all, she was Roxie Hart, the girl with big dreams, who just wanted to be heard, to be in the spotlight… but Velma would always stand in her way. Velma would always be the star.

…..and Roxie was tired of it. All Velma had ever done was make fun of her, abuse of her and then in the end, use her to get famous again and left her stranded.

"Face it Roxie, you're washed up. In fact, if it weren't for killing Cassely, you never would've been a hit in the first place"

Roxie screamed at her "So that's it, huh? After you get famous again because of my help, you're gonna ditch me?"

"That's Chicago, sweetheart. I mean, here even murder is a form of entertainment. But you already know that don't you?" Velma responded a grin plastered on her face.

Velma picked up her bags, now full of cash and her personal belongings.

"Goodbye Roxie"

Tori took the gun, aimed and fired.

"Goodbye Jade"

And then, Tori collapsed to the floor, too weak to stand up.

The audience applauded, unaware of the reality of the events that had just taken place.

Sickowitz ran to the stage.

"Tori, what did you just do?"

"I lived it." She said as she looked him in the eye. "It was perfect"

And then her eyes closed for the last time as the curtain fell.

* * *

><p><strong>AN-** I realized the ending was a bit Black Swan-ish but I just really happened to love that movie. This is the first one-shot in a series than I'm working on which includes different fandoms (Vampire Diaries, Victorious, iCarly), basically revolving around the elements water, earth, fire, air and spirit. So anyways, give me your opinion, should I continue these or not? Also this happens to be my first Victorious fanfic, so please be nice :)


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